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Looks like Randy Newman was wrong…

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Short people DO have reason to live!

In this story, Tyrone Shower gets weak-kneed around Moonshine, which means Moonshine thinks she found her ideal husband. Mainly because he’s easy to catch.

So, on Sadie Hawkins Day, Tyrone becomes target number one between two girls … one who looks disturbingly like his sister. Dogpatch, man. Dogpatch. Anyway, Moonshine wins… but she calls the wedding off after she discovers her pop has eaten the dowry.

Moonbeam McSwine wants it Dogpatch Style

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One of the first appearances of Moonbeam in 1941, where, surprisingly, she seems to be showing way more cleavage than in later appearances. Incidentally, “Let’s stop talkin’ and let’s start wooin’ — Dogpatch Style!!” sounds pretty hot… and I’m for dang certain that Al Capp fully intended the double entendre.

Moonbeam McSwine in… The Prestige

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It’s those creepy Pincus aliens and they’re at it again. This time, they’re cloning and destroying Moonbeam at a rapid rate. While seriously wrong, I’m pretty sure Moonbeam could probably reappropriate this machine to become a world class magician.

Moonbeam might have missed her chance to be a big move star on the Planet Pincus Number 7….

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But she probably wouldn’t’ve wanted any of that publicity since it turned out to be a snuff film at the end. I mean, DANG.

Attack of the 5-Foot-Tall Moonbeam McSwine

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Sentient Vienna sausages with propeller butts hunt the biggest game of all … sexy slightly filthy pig farmers.

OK, Al Capp, putting Clark Kent’s face on one of these weirdos is a little disturbing. And what the heck’s Daisy Mae’s problem? She lives in the same world where Shmoos appear fairly frequently!

Father and Daughter Gettin’ A Little Too Close

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As much as I love Moonbeam, the McSwine family is sure full of some creepy incestual overtones.

Still, who CAN’T relate to Tiny’s enthusiasm for free pork chop dinner?

Abner, dude, it’s YOUR baby…

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Hey, Abner, it’s YOUR baby. Show a little more excitement than getting fed today. At least Moonbeam’s around to show some o’ that enthusiasm.

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